A journey of words and images

"a pig"

"fat"

"No boy could ever want you."

"I'm closer to being under- than overweight. But my legs are also thick, my butt is big, and I'm short. Currently, I weigh something close to 55 kg, which is completely normal and fine... but still, I look into the mirror, and sometimes I want to cry."

"49 kg... I want to weigh less than 50."

"Sometimes I avoid my reflection."
"I want to puke everything that I ate."
"Even now, I feel sturdy, chubby, big... All because of some dumb words."

"I'm aware that I'm not overweight, but at the same time, there's a roll there, there's some fat there, I can never become like those beautiful, slender models with long, beautiful, sleek legs..."

"I haven't worn a tank top in years, because I think my arms are too fat."

"Man. I can go swimming in other places, but not a public beach..."

"I know this is stupid. I know it is."
"I feel bad that they underestimate the importance and the difficulty of this."

"There are times when I look at my body, and I want to chop it to pieces."

"I don't have to become like those slender tiny fairies I adore... Except that I want to." 

"That'll probably fill me up enough so that I don't feel starved after work."
"After lunch, I should only eat at dinner and then before going to bed, no in-betweens... That just makes me feel shitty."

"I should focus on eating quite healthily, so that I wouldn't feel bad!"

--

"I want my body image to become normal."

"Sometimes I realize just how many issues I have with this particular thingy."
"I've never been fat, though?"
"I'd understand being a little concerned if I was overweight or obese, but I'm completely normal-weight, with a normal-looking body! But my mind doesn't always believe that, and it's gonna take some time to turn that thing to normal."

"It's a process, and it'll take time and patience."

"I'll improve. I'll get over this one day, and then I'll go to all the public beaches in the world. I'll take tons of nudes and save them on my laptop. I'll wear cute lingerie (okay, I wear cute lingerie already.. I love stockings.) and show it in bright daylight. "

"Most importantly, I won't say no to anything just because I feel like I'm not skinny enough."